I heard again recently that expectations are not these negative things we often come to believe they are. The problem is when they go haywire and start to dictate our responses. Or worse yet when they actually hinder us from being obedient to God. Isn't it easy for our flesh to inflate them? And isn't it godly to keep them surrendered over to God , the Only One who is worth all our hope? I thought I would have at least 30 days to find a place to live once the house I'm living in would sell, but God has written that part of the story differently. The plot twist comes in the form of the reality that I need to be out in 168 hours. Yes, that's one week for my fellow non-math friends (I definitely googled it.) I've had outlandish and lavish grace extended to me for THREE. WHOLE. YEARS. in my living situation, and here I stand on the precipice of the next chapter. No, I'm not sure where I'll be sleeping next Sunday night. I don't anticipate that it will be in my car, though I'm sure Gigi (that's my car's name, don't judge), would love such a sweet bonding experience.
I want to testify to the perfect timing of God. Two weeks ago, something clicked. He had been doing this huge work in my life to rid me of what I think was years of sloth. I started getting up at 4am so that I could have time to work on ministries that He has stirred in my heart, on a new business venture that could hold some earthly promise, and I can't remember the last time my part-time online job has been so efficient as it has been with this new schedule. Freedom and relief have been these surprising banners over me. I also eliminated one of those things that has long entangled me in the form of copiously embarrassing yet culturally acceptable amounts of television for the better life. I share this because this is what God has been doing in me before His big reveal yesterday of 168 hours. Let me tell you, it is very tempting to want to take over and say: "Well, okay Lord, I guess that's all over now. It was a fun two weeks. But real life says I need to pay rent, and I can't do that with this present situation." I am definitely enticed to take matters into my own hands, blame Him for failing, even for teasing me with a wonderful work schedule. But my God is never surprised. It's impossible for the Omniscient, Wise God to be. So, as much as I want to be rash and start flailing in panic, I also can't ignore what He has been doing. If only I knew how this was all going to work out, how to trust Him with this, how they did it in the Bible.
It's not How, it's Who.
"From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, WHO ACTS FOR THOSE WHO WAIT FOR HIM. " Isaiah 64:4
"BY FAITH [THE ASSURANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE CONVICTION OF THINGS NOT SEEN] Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8
I got to see the sunrise this morning at one of my favorite places and I couldn't help but think of what my Friend had told me last week: that He is the Beginning and the End, and what better picture could He have given for this moment in life? A visual of the night ending and the day arriving, dripping with newness. So, the place of faith that rests on the steadfast certainty of God is where you will (hopefully) find me this week, and I look forward to telling of the wonder that He has done, and I pray that the glory He receives from it far exceeds the beauty of the sunrise this morning.