Something annoyingly unexpected (from a temporal POV) and remarkably beautiful (from a more heavenly one) is happening in the midst of this sanctifying transition. Apparently, the Lord saw fit that His work in my heart would include some good ol' fashioned sin exposure. Yippee, I say. Sorry, that flesh just poked out her head again.
Here I am, having my hope revived by my Savior that He is totally doing something AMAZING (because when is he NOT?) all the while I'm watching as He is increasing my faith in Himself, my One Firm Foundation. And then He comes along and WRECKS me with this verse: "if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2b).
Now, this wasn't exactly a sneak attack. He'd been alluding to this for the last week or so. He started with this one: "Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: whoever believes will not be in haste." (Isaiah 28:16).
And the next day built on it with this: "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19).
And then there it was. Smack dab in the middle of a letter from Paul. The "rude awakening" that my soul would be happy to continue to ignore. Faith and Hope are SERIOUSLY significant, and yet they are the drumroll to the crescendo of Love (v. 13). Wherever He makes His dwelling place, the foundation He lays is always LOVE because He IS the Foundation (1 Cor. 3:11) and He goes by that Name "Love" too (1 John 4:8).
And then there lies that daunting description, none of which legitimately comes naturally to me (v. 4-8a) Where would I be without His Holy Spirit living in me??? Praise GOD for His generosity in sharing His Spirit with me! Without Him, I cannot love. The ability to demonstrate agape (love that just wants to give, as my Dad would say) is proof of maturity in Christ. It is the "tallest of orders." It is grown-up faith and fully-formed hope. It is the sign of how secure I am in the fact that I am fully known by its Author.
In the belly of the beast of Transition, how easy it is to focus on ourselves, to block out the needs of others, to prioritize our circumstances! I am SO VERY weak in this, ever failing, and therefore, always needing HIM.
It's like He's trying to make me more like Him or something.
True Love, help me, I pray. Fix this messed-up selfish bit of a heart that so often puffs itself up with importance. Keep me ever cognizant of the sheer volume (what this finite mind can comprehend) of your love for me, for there is no other way I can show that to others. Help me give up that petulant childishness for something better: loving like You. Amen.