Scattered. That's how I awoke this morning. It wasn't the kind where a jumbled mix of positive and negative thoughts duke it out to see who wins. It had more of a "lose-lose/catch-22" vibe going on as my heart and mind quickly jumped from fear of failure to shame and guilt to selfish, pitiable ideas, all of which "threatened to undo me," as the hymn writer once said. And all this before I had even put my feet on the floor. Time with Him felt like a chore this morning. I read the Word, attempted to organize the gibberish mush of my being into a journal, confessing navel-gazing pride while pleading with Him for reminders of the Life He brings. Knowing that this year would be full of change, I determined at the onset to store up the Word in my heart, meaning my quiet time now consists of intentional verse memorization of Psalm 119 (I know, tall order). Today was the first day of a new group of verses, and these two stuck out, "My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word!...My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!" (v. 25, 28). Nothing could be closer a closer description of both my state and my supplication, and the irony of those words was not lost on me. In my flesh, I am all over the place. And so, the need for someone stable and unchanging is great. My Valentine's Love is: 4. UNCEASING His affection is CONSTANT. I might be frazzled, but He calmly whispers the sweet somethings that His Omniscience knows my heart requires. (He definitely did that this morning with 2 Timothy 2:19.) The love between us is IMPENETRABLE and UNBREAKABLE(Romans 8:38-39). I am His, blisters and all, and with such a deep and abiding friendship comes the abundant benefits of belonging to such a Lover. And yes, all for HIS Name's Sake. His RELENTLESS Love is true even on a day that starts off funky, with the foul stank of sin. For that same Love also delivers me from that which would threaten to keep us apart (Romans 5:8). Praise the Love Who has brought me everlasting rest, that I no longer have to wait for that kind of affection which this world could not satisfy anyway! If what I am looking for is Someone to deeply and sacrificially love me, even at my worst, then yes, once again, it is Jesus Christ who meets/exceeds such a standard.
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