Last year around this time I was holed up in my room putting finishing touches on one gift while brilliantly plotting a solution to another present that wasn't quite turning out how I originally envisioned. My little workroom was buzzing as though it had were guilty of drinking the espresso that I should have been. During each break, I would work on picking the hardened hot glue off the tacky countertops in my room that was once a kitchen. Admittedly, I went to bed physically exhausted but kept my focus on the joy each act of love would bring the recipient. And, I figured, even if they didn't appreciate it, it was still worth the thrill of the process.
True confession: I think I've had a lot of pride over being the best gift-giver. I mean, I created powerpoint slides with a friend's name as a header followed by extensive bullets on what would make them happy. If there were prizes for such a thing, I'd be a contender, or so I internally boasted.
Then came Christmas 2013, the strangest Christmas of my life so far. My nights are not consumed with crafting since resources are scarce. I never realized how much of my identity I had tied up in what I could DO. Maybe I was seeking affirmation from others with every project; maybe "gifts" really is my love language and so not giving gifts this year is comparable to telling people I don't love them anymore. Or maybe I was getting swept up in the "spirit of Christmas" rather than in the SPIRIT of Christmas, the Spirit who reminds me to worship the King. I was blocking out His voice.
This year is different not just because of what I'm not creating, but because of what I am GIVING. I want to be the one who falls at the feet of the King offering the only thing I have to give. It isn't gold, frankincense, myrrh or a beautiful handmade scarf, it's me. I don't feel like I'm very much of a worthy gift these days. But thankfully (oh so very thankfully!), the ONE who receives my heart is thrilled with this offering. It delights him to see a heart that is fully committed to Him so He can do His God-thing and strengthen the heck out of it. Christmas really is totally about worship and worship is about making myself a living sacrifice to the One I adore, who came here for me, so that He could have my heart. I haven't always taken advantage of this seasonal reminder to give Him my heart, which is a shame because by this time of the year I've usually tried to take it back for myself again.
Don't waste any more time this year. Stop what you're doing and spend the rest of this beautiful season worshiping the King with all you have to give.
Brittany Van Ryn
Working out thoughts with HIM.