I've been holding my breath for the last couple of months. My relationships with others have been suspended, a somewhat unexpected, yet not atypical by-product of the Land of In-Between; since truthfully I am wrongfully and irresponsibly protecting myself should He lead me away from this place. Questions keep piling up like that laundry I really ought to do, but I can't seem to bring myself to do any sorting because there are just too many to know what to tackle first. So many of my days seem to start off with, "I need to..." or "I should really..." only to end with nothing to show for them other than clocking in and out of my part-time job. Please don't misunderstand. It hasn't all been agony and anguish. I have also enjoyed His Sweet Honey in ways that I have not known before, tasting and seeing His faithful goodness in new things, even grasping the joy of His Sovereignty that has formerly eluded me. So, really the best description of this "strange season" as I've been "affectionately" terming it, is a mixed bag, as my mother and I often call it. He must have noticed because He decided to show me a corner piece of this puzzle that has been sitting in front of me. This transition now has a date: August 5th, 2016. It's the date I am moving out because by God's grace, wisdom and lovingkindness, He has sold the house I'm living in. I picked up the piece and stared at it for awhile, terrified and excited, mostly the latter because it means He's doing something. Of course, I knew this, but with the reality of the piece now sitting in my hand, it's harder to forget. The last time the "When" piece was the last one He gave, so my creative God launched a new initiative this time around. How like Him to find the way that will keep me trusting! Of course, I immediately started digging in the sea of pieces to try and find those other corners like "Where," "How," and "What" but he must have hidden them somewhere for now and wants me to be thankful and rejoice that the puzzle will one day be finished so that He can even now receive glory for what He is going to do for His Name's Sake. If my life were about me, then panic, fear, depression, and paralysis would be winning a lot of my days; that's the question I use as the grip stop for the slippery surface: "Is your life about you?" If my life is about God, then my task now is to praise Him and thank Him for what He is doing, to worship Him for His Sovereignty and celebrate that His plans cannot be thwarted. I know what it is to waste precious time fretting and forgoing peace, and I certainly don't want to look back and regret ungodly behavior during what could have been a beautiful, not just a strange, season. If you're reading this and the Lord leads you, would you pray for me? Would you pray that I might not get so bogged down and overwhelmed that I am incapacitated? Would you pray that He gently and clearly shepherds this dumb little sheep? Would you pray that under His wings I find refuge? And would you pray against that ferocious lion who is cunningly flinging a barrage of darts at me? My Goshen is nigh, and I have never needed the Lord God more.
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