The last bit of sand has made its way to the other end of the hourglass. What's been most surprising and ultimately supernatural is that I haven't been just sitting around watching it deplete. He's been keeping me otherwise occupied with Himself, reminding me that He is far better to look at than some kind of glass stopwatch. I felt so drawn to return to the scene of the glorious sky crime from last week, to see if another sunrise held any glory, and boy, did it ever, as you can see, which was really only a fraction of the experience. This moment came on the heels of the reminder to let God inflate my hope to something bigger and better, and really more eternal than merely this earthly short-sighted dreams like, you know, a place to live. This morning, I read Acts 9, and the account of the healing of Aeneas and the resurrection of Tabitha/Dorcas really stuck out. I just kept seeing this word pop up. "And Peter said to him, 'Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you; RISE and make your bed.' and immediately he rose. And all the residents of Lydda and Sharon saw him, and they turned to the Lord." v. 34-35 "But Peter put them [the widows and others] all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, 'Tabitha, ARISE,' And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. And he gave her his hand and raised her up. Then calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive. And it became known throughout all Joppa, and many believed in the Lord." v. 40-42 It is with those words running through my head that I gazed at the colorful heavens before me. Suddenly I heard another reminder: "From the RISING of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised!" Psalm 113:3 And all this on the dawn of the next chapter He is reading to me after a season of waiting. It's time.
For the next two weeks, I'll be staying with a gracious friend who God sent and who sought me out, and then I'll have another week with an additional friend. After that, I have a potential semi-permanent place to lay my head, but as those adjectives imply, even that is open to change. It would seem that my God is choosing to keep me close with opportunities to trust and that He is instructing me to praise Him all this day/chapter/season/adventure long. That includes declaring and testifying to any who read this. I have to tell you, urge you to know that He always comes through and is more faithful than the morning sun (yes, that's a Skillet reference). I wonder how often Aeneas and Tabitha told of what Jesus Christ had done for them through Peter. I wonder if his words resonated in their head, if their hearts leapt when they heard someone say the word, "Rise" in any context, knowing the positive change it brought in their own lives. It doesn't surprise me that that word in Greek is associated with making FIRM, fix, and establish, Of course He would emphasize my Word of the Year in this emotionally fragile moment to remind me of His Solidness. am thankful for a place to sleep tonight, for all those who sacrificially gave of their hearts and time in prayer for me, and mostly for the steadfast love and faithfulness of my One True Love. I look forward to continue to sojourn with him in both spiritual and physical ways and watching Him continue to provide and show Himself off.
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Last week I read in Revelation that God is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. It struck me that it was almost funny that He would describe Himself with words that have Time implications, since He is outside of it, and yet it speaks to His Authorship and Invention of it simultaneously. It was also one of those quiet times when I walked away asking Him why He needed to remind me of that awesome facet of His Person. And then I found out yesterday afternoon.
I heard again recently that expectations are not these negative things we often come to believe they are. The problem is when they go haywire and start to dictate our responses. Or worse yet when they actually hinder us from being obedient to God. Isn't it easy for our flesh to inflate them? And isn't it godly to keep them surrendered over to God , the Only One who is worth all our hope? I thought I would have at least 30 days to find a place to live once the house I'm living in would sell, but God has written that part of the story differently. The plot twist comes in the form of the reality that I need to be out in 168 hours. Yes, that's one week for my fellow non-math friends (I definitely googled it.) I've had outlandish and lavish grace extended to me for THREE. WHOLE. YEARS. in my living situation, and here I stand on the precipice of the next chapter. No, I'm not sure where I'll be sleeping next Sunday night. I don't anticipate that it will be in my car, though I'm sure Gigi (that's my car's name, don't judge), would love such a sweet bonding experience. I want to testify to the perfect timing of God. Two weeks ago, something clicked. He had been doing this huge work in my life to rid me of what I think was years of sloth. I started getting up at 4am so that I could have time to work on ministries that He has stirred in my heart, on a new business venture that could hold some earthly promise, and I can't remember the last time my part-time online job has been so efficient as it has been with this new schedule. Freedom and relief have been these surprising banners over me. I also eliminated one of those things that has long entangled me in the form of copiously embarrassing yet culturally acceptable amounts of television for the better life. I share this because this is what God has been doing in me before His big reveal yesterday of 168 hours. Let me tell you, it is very tempting to want to take over and say: "Well, okay Lord, I guess that's all over now. It was a fun two weeks. But real life says I need to pay rent, and I can't do that with this present situation." I am definitely enticed to take matters into my own hands, blame Him for failing, even for teasing me with a wonderful work schedule. But my God is never surprised. It's impossible for the Omniscient, Wise God to be. So, as much as I want to be rash and start flailing in panic, I also can't ignore what He has been doing. If only I knew how this was all going to work out, how to trust Him with this, how they did it in the Bible. It's not How, it's Who. "From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, WHO ACTS FOR THOSE WHO WAIT FOR HIM. " Isaiah 64:4 "BY FAITH [THE ASSURANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE CONVICTION OF THINGS NOT SEEN] Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8 I got to see the sunrise this morning at one of my favorite places and I couldn't help but think of what my Friend had told me last week: that He is the Beginning and the End, and what better picture could He have given for this moment in life? A visual of the night ending and the day arriving, dripping with newness. So, the place of faith that rests on the steadfast certainty of God is where you will (hopefully) find me this week, and I look forward to telling of the wonder that He has done, and I pray that the glory He receives from it far exceeds the beauty of the sunrise this morning. Man, do I love a green light. All systems go. No holds barred. Pedal to the metal. (insert additional cliches here). It's especially thrilling with the windows down and my favorite song on the radio. A green light means action and moving forward, often follwed by a time of waiting. If I were to completely ignore such a law out of impatience or pride that I know best when I can go, trouble ensues. Then there are those yellow lights. We know they're telling us to be cautious, but in practice we often treat them like their bluer counterpart because the thought of them becoming that awful shade of crimson will destroy our plans. We associate red with obstacle, naturally avoid them at all costs, rather than thinking about how they protect us. This transition has been rank with lights, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't rev my engine every now vainly trying to force the light to change colors. But leave it to my Traffic Controller to provide some order to it all. See, I already have some green lights, and they shine brightly. And let me tell you that when waiting is pretty much the theme of your life song, you JUMP at the opportunity to DO. I don't have to wait to live for Jesus. I don't have to wait to praise Him, to worship Him, to adore Him. I don't have to wait to acknowledge His goodness, to show Him how much I love Him by loving others. I don't have to wait to talk to Him about anything since I can boldy approach His throne. I don't have to wait to spend time with Him or to think about Him. And here's what shattered my understanding the other day. There's only One Thing I'm waiting for. I'd like to settle and say: "I'm waiting on a job," "I'm waiting to hear back from so and so about this such and such," "I'm waiting to see what that person feels" and so on. That would be easy, wouldn't it? And that's what we do, isn't it? Well, I'll bite the proverbial bullet and say the hard thing, "I'm waiting for God." I wonder if it scares us because we have to recognize our attitude might be laced with anger at him for not working according to our time table. And that means we have to have an honest dialogue with Him about the condition of our hearts. Maybe it freaks us out to acknowledge that we do not think of Him as the Good and Sovereign God that He is. And I'm sure that's only the beginning of the list. This psalm has been on my mind constantly this last week: "For God ALONE my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He ALONE is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken... "For God ALONE, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He ONLY is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. " Psalm 62: 1, 5-8 He is the ONLY One Who can resolve my present estate. He shuts and opens (Revelation 3:7). And when I own up to the truth that He ALONE is what/Who I am waiting on/for, then something awesome happens. My eyes are suddenly fixed on Him, my heart starts to experience the peace and hope and joy that comes from being in His presence, and my soul gets renewed and refreshed as I am reminded of His all-sufficient weary-dissipating Grace. My spiritual feet find their footing and I am safe from worries and shielded from the harm that comes from going my own way. In that glowing amber light of His, I'm not thinking about the light turning red or waiting for it to turn green again, I'm occupied in mind, body, and heart with Him, the Refuge worthy of ALL my trust. |
Brittany Van RynWorking out thoughts with HIM. Archives
February 2017
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