That has been where I have found myself lately, surrounded by this mist, perhaps a metaphor for my very life which "appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14). You see, I once again was faced with what felt like an uppercut to my heart, another devastating disappointment. It had all seemed perfect, divine really, so naturally my grip on it rather than my God grew tighter. The facade of an answer gave birth to false hope for my desperate circumstances. So, when He revealed that He was saying "Yes" to something better, many adjustments had to be made to a heart that had gotten out of whack. That thief was certainly sneaky this time; all he had to do was let me start piling my hope in heaps on what I thought could save me, forgetting Who is the One who Alone is my Deliverer. Guilty of trying to saddle up my own war horse, who is a "false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue" (Psalm 33:17), I confess that my eyes had shifted from their True Prize.
And when my horse collapsed, so did I. I was struggling to face Him, my Best Friend. The depth of my hurt was great due to temporal and finite view on life; so He intervened and had to remind me of His Big Attributes: His Supremacy, Sovereignty, Omnipotence, Wisdom, Foreknowledge, and Immutability. I don't think this can be said enough in the midst of grieving a disappointment: when you feel as though your love toward Him has grown cold, and you have forgotten that His love toward you has not changed, focus on giving Him the respect and acknowledgement that He deserves. Regardless of whether He answers according to YOUR will, He is always answering according to HIS, which is good, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:2). I do not have His High and Holy vista; the Panoramic Plan is lost on me, but never on its Originator.
As anyone who has ever gone through a transition knows, waiting can be painful. But it can also be life-giving if it is rightly handled, and there is only One Way to do so. It takes SUPERNATURAL STRENGTH, and there is only One Power able to give it to sustain you in the meanwhile. During Waiting Season, you are, in fact, the sitting duck you feel like, and only One Protector can shield you from being dinner for the Devil Dog. We must, then, take cover in the One Refuge who is our Shield, Jesus Christ.
No, I'm not driving. I never was. When I try to yank on that wheel, I will certainly cause an accident in this thick haze, so it's a good thing, my Driver knows where He's taking me and will keep me safe every step of the way. Oh, sweet salvation!
"This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles...When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers him out of them all...The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned." Psalm 34:6,17-19,22